Jason Donovan’s Fantastic Battleships
You can say what you like about Dick’s Day Movies but it’s the only channel where you’re going to see Susan! starring Miriam Chingford, Dudley Waller and, in an early appearance, Jock Boswell, in the sad tale of a cooper’s wife driven to drink in early 1950s London. One of my favourite things* about Christmas in the UK in the 2000s was the Sky TV EPG holiday music, now sadly relegated to the dustbin of history. But it lives on in this handy archive. Or just play all two and a half hours of it below.
* I know this is quite tragic
Holy shit, Clovis is like that old lady on NCIS L.A., but for demons. Underrated.
Also, I will watch Steak Quest AND Steak Quest USA if you can get them on TV.
Watching the Bee Movie marathon on the Nectar Channel is my favourite tradition.
New Year’s Day tradition, I mean. It’s not a happy year that doesn’t start with 24 hours of the Bee Movie.
Bee Movie is OK, just don’t make me watch Wasps. Unless it’s a show about White Anglo-Saxon Protestants, in which case it appeals to my specific demographic.
Awww… She trusts them. She sees them as capable of dealing with this sort of thing. Or maybe it’s just Maggie she trusts. Hard to tell whether that’s a singular “you” or a plural “you”. Curse our ancestors, for losing the second person singular.
the adroit often employ ‘youse’, or ‘you guys’. Some I hear use ‘y’uns’. The language is so rich!
There’s also “y’all” in the southern U.S.
But to be precise, it has to be ‘All y’all!”
That depends on the region.
Y’all is singular.
The plural is All y’all.
“Trusts them”, “doesn’t care if they get cursed” What’s the difference, eh?
It’s a surprising pronoun loss, certainly. Can’t imagine what they were thinking, not keeping better tabs on their stuff.
Is that a Fishman coaster I spy on the piano?
You have won this round of “find Fishman”.
SHE KNOW FROM THE BEGINNING!?! Mrs. Clovis is awesome ♡! And Billie finally seems to be fine! What exceptional women. A true sisterhood ♡.
I wonder what Bee Hospital is like. Is it hospital for bees, run by someone named Bee, or has beehives on the roof?
Please tell me more about “Butt Beach”
Okay. There’s a beach. And there’s… mmm. John is rilly British, so if he’d meant something naughty, it might have been ‘Bum Beach’. But bums are thos homelessly vagrant types with the cardboard signs, so… aw, youse just let your imagination roam. Sure you’ll come up with something good.
In British, a butt is something to shoot arrows at.
It’s a US import, a real stalwart of the Men And Motors 24 lineup.
In my increasingly vigorous Steeple headcanon, someone bought The Grind from MTV and released all the booty dancers that have been locked in the basement cannibalizing each other to stay alive for 25 years, and that’s how Butt Beach came to be!
THESE SHOWS
Literally every single one is the funniest one
Right???
“57 Channels and Nothing’s On” is going around in my head now. Thank you, John. If it gets any worse, I am going to have to pay royalties to Bruce Springsteen.
That was exactly what I was think of too.
I remember when we only got thirteen channels of shit on the TV to choose from
Yes! I knew Mrs. Clovis knew more than she was letting on! I couldn’t imagine otherwise given her many years fighting the supernatural before either Billie or Maggie were born. Great work as always John, and Merry Christmas to you!
Nothing to do with today’s strip but, I’ve just realised something…look at maggie’s face under Scary Go Round on the right. Take off her lippy, pull back her hair, add wrinkles around her mouth and on her forehead….are she and Mrs C related?
I’ve assumed so ever since I began reading the strip. This is after all a large village/small town in Cornwall, where there isn’t huge demographic mobility, and both are presumably locals rather than incomers like Billie and The Rev. I imagine Mrs C is maybe Maggie’s first cousin once removed, or something similar.
This whole story left me feeling faintly queasy, like the ghost of hangovers past was visiting. Bravo, Mr Allison, bravo!
If Doctor Who and a quilting show were up against one another, I’m honestly not sure which one my wife would pick.
These days? Quilting show, hands down.
So I guess “Susan!” has nothing to do with Susan Ptolemy….
(Because THAT would be a show – quite probably a hospital series – I’d want to watch!)
A Shabby Abbey marathon!
Mrs. C’s revelation leaves Billie wide-eyed in wonder.
Your channel selections look a lot more interesting than what we get over here.
Also I’ve been wondering how old Mrs. Clovis is. If she’s my age, she might remember William Hartnell transforming into Patrick Troughton, and getting her mind blown. But more likely she only remembers as far back as the Tom Baker era, or maybe John Pertwee.
Mrs. Clovis probably remembers the golden days of Dixon of Dock Green. Which is not a bad thing.
You know what MY favourite Christmas 2000s memory is? DR. LADYSOUNDS’ CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN.
Or wait, was it New Year’s.
Oh, Lord! I’m an American and i just listened to fifteen minutes of that Sky TV channel. All the sounds of Christmas (sleigh bells, french horns, choirs) with none of the content! It’s like a government mind-control experiment gone wrong. Or do I mean right? Nothing means anything anymore.
Mission accomplished! John’s work here is done.
Susan! is clearly a barrel maker’s wife. You wouldn’t have made that mistake would you?
“Cooper” for the copper bands that hold barrels together.
Ahh that TV listing reminds me of Charlie Brooker’s TVGoHome, now only accessible through the Wayback Machine: https://web.archive.org/web/20040616010119/http://www.tvgohome.com/
Jason Donovan’s Fantastic Battleships – sounds groovy. Until it becomes a real thing, guess I will just have to console myself with Drachinifel on YouTube…
The thing with Steak Quest is that the original British version is more about the steak and all the supportive relationships that the different questers have with each other, whereas in the USA version it’s all about petty drama and competition.
what I’m saying is that the British version is more well done
Yeah, I hated it when they canceled the collaborative steak aging competition in the U.S. version.
It makes it all feel too raw, too underdone.
Oh totally. and don’t you hate how they added all those stunt challenges, just to get the contestants all agitated and lashing out at each other? like when they had the outdoor grilling episode? contestants just raking each other over the coals
Bad puns can only be killed by a steak through the heart. Specifically, T-bone, though rib-eye will do.
Indeed! I felt like recent episodes have just been marinading in toxicity.
(Just to let you know, I can’t possibly keep this up.)
Yeah, the American version was definitely a misteak.
I’m all punned out. You all win the commemorative bottle of A-1 Sauce!
Yeah, it’s rare for reality TV, especially American reality TV, to be well-done. I think it’s a fundamental flaw in the medium.
I am 100% down for Long Arm Quilting Machine, a fresh pot of tea and a 1,000 piece jigsaw to work on.